Affirmations, A woman walkthrough into becoming a better helpmate!

By Shron Ephraim

Contrary to popular belief, but men get depressed, men stress out, men are insecure, men get tired but still provide for their families while enduring silent pain, men have anxiety, men fuck up too, and everything else we as women experience. Collectively, we both be feeling the same way MOST times; but just as women are told to cross our legs, and act like a lady; men are always told to toughen up and be a man. Both ideologies of one’s character and emotions can make them desensitized to the pain they could potentially cause others. Why should I care about you when no one cares about me, and how I feel? This is the mindset that has now manifested. If you don’t nourish your man in the way that helps him to be a better man, then why should he reciprocate what you don’t show?
A few things I observe with men is that, a boost of their ego goes a very long way. Honestly, sometimes that’s all it takes for them to morph back into their rightful positions in a relationship. Let me explain to you a few things that I observed that would make men better.

1. Submissiveness
When I say submissiveness, I am not talking in the sense of being his slave; but in the sense of displaying the ultimate respect for your man, and his position in your life. Being submissive makes a man feel like he is still the leader, and that he has total control over his purpose. Always taking an aggressive approach, and initiative both physically and verbally; will make them feel like you do not need them. They won’t even start to question you, but they will question themselves. This is where insecurities are born. Being submissive is like catching more bees with honey. You will come off seductive, even more attractive, loveable, and you are showing your man that you trust his guidance. Always say ‘’ Yes’’ in response to his questions. This builds a solid foundation of verbal order.

2. Stroke his ego
Before telling him his flaw or issue with the way he does things, use phrases like “I love how you considered this’’ or ‘’ I am so happy you did this for me ’’ and then gently proceed to present other ways he can master situations that he has issues with. You can’t just tell a man how much he is messing up without presenting solid facts to back up your claims. Showing any type of dominance will force him to reject anything said to protect his pride, and manhood. No man wants to feel like he is in a relationship with another man. Men tend to fold more when they see their shortcomings in black and white. They are more receptive to take accountability for their actions. Sending miscellaneous text will also make a man feel and be better. “Hey sexy, sex was great last night’’, or ‘’ I love you KING’’ or you could tell him how much you appreciate the little things he do for you. Let your man know that you belong to him, and even get risky and send their favorites, NUDES! Remember that men don’t need a lot to be pleased. We know the areas how men can fall short, so always appease them with words of encouragement. Even if you have to grab his head, and make eye contact with him; transfer the confidence into him, which you desire for him to have.
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3. Body Language/Tone of voice
Tone of voice and body language are vital keys in a discussion. A tone can be interpreted in many ways. Yelling, and screaming over your man, sets off a frequency similar to heavy metal. It influences the brain to release adrenalin which activates the flight of fight modes. He will either walk away, or argue back. Activating our feminine energy in a discussion paves the way on how the future discussions between you two will be. It also shows him the type of approach to take with you. Using words like, ‘’I feel’’ instead of ‘’you make me feel’’ can shift the discussion into a positive outcome. Using the appropriate body language shows him your maturity level, your patience, and your trust. Throwing your hands up, shaking your leg, pointing your fingers, and using head gestures causes men to completely shut down. We don’t need any of that with our men in this society. If anything, we need our men to trust us enough to open themselves up to us. It is hard for them to do so if we don’t create a safe place for them to do so.
I suggest you remember the elements of Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire. Fire is fierce and uncontrollable. Earth is sturdy but will not move or compromise. Be wind or water. Wind is gentle, and calm, and cools off heat. Water listens and compromises.
But as the overall goal, make him feel like a man. Never try his manhood. Use your words of wisdom, and the power of your submission in your natural feminine state, and he will willingly do what is needed. You will indeed create space for your man to be doing better and be better. He will reach his highest potential of what a GREAT MAN is.

Shron Ephraim
Blogger/Photographer/Creator
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